How to tell your aunt Carol you’re done with overconsumption (and still love her, too)

A Thanksgiving guide to values, boundaries, and better gifts

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means two things are about to collide at full speed: your personal values and your Aunt Carol’s annual “I found this on sale at the big-box store!” gift-giving extravaganza.

And listen: This isn’t about shaming her. It’s about naming what matters to you and navigating those slightly uncomfortable conversations that appear right between the mashed potatoes and the “So… any big life updates?” interrogation.

Because if you value fewer, better things, if you care about small businesses, if overconsumption makes you cringe, this is your moment to say so! Even if it feels awkward. Even if Carol clutches her pearls. (Even if everyone suddenly becomes fascinated by the turkey.)

Why this conversation matters

Values don’t mean much unless we’re willing to live them. For many of us, this season marks the moment you are done with overconsumption and Schmamazon and ready to choose purchases that actually reflect your values. That often means shifting away from thoughtless spending and toward intentional choices. Supporting businesses that align with what you care about, not just whatever was cheap and convenient.

You are done with overconsumption. So… how do you actually tell Aunt Carol?

1. Use Thanksgiving as your opening

This week is built for gratitude. That’s your doorway. Try: “I’m so grateful for your generosity, and this year I’m trying to be more intentional with what comes into my home. I’m supporting more small businesses and choosing things I’ll truly use.” Simple, warm, and honest. We like honest!

2. Expect a little offense. Stay steady!

People sometimes hear “I don’t want that” as “You did something wrong.” Gently remind her that’s not what you’re saying. “It’s not about the gift. I’m just trying to reduce waste and be more thoughtful about what I bring into my life and into my home.” You’re sharing your values, not critiquing hers.

3. Come with options

This is the magic trick: don’t just say “no,” offer a “yes.” Ideas you can offer right away:

• “If you feel like gifting, I’d love something from a local shop.”

• “Consumables or everyday essentials are always welcome."

• “If you want ideas, I can share a few small businesses I adore. I know this one online store that sells eco-friendly everyday products. The name is Biene! It's run by a local mom.”

• “And honestly—your company is enough. No gift needed.”

4. Mention Small Business Saturday in a way that feels inviting

This is your golden moment. You can say: “Actually, Small Business Saturday is happening in my town this weekend. It’s the perfect time to shop local and support businesses that really make a difference. If you're thinking about gifts, that’s where I’ll be shopping this year.”

It’s an easy, non-confrontational way to redirect her energy: from big-box impulse buys to more intentional, community-centered choices. You’re planting a seed. A smart, helpful, sustainable seed. This shifts the energy toward appreciation and awareness, not guilt.

5. Keep it about values, not judgment

You’re not telling Carol she’s ruining the planet with her shopping cart. You’re simply saying:

“Here’s what matters to me, and here’s how you can support me.” That’s the entire conversation.

Why we have these conversations

Because intentional purchases aren’t just about the objects. They’re about alignment. About voting with your dollars. About supporting makers, doers, and small local shops that care about what they create. About reducing waste without reducing joy.

And yes, sometimes you’ll ruffle a few feathers. But if living your values offends someone, maybe it’s the beginning of a better, more honest relationship.

This Thursday…

Raise a glass. Speak your truth. Share what you value. And let aunt Carol know that the best gift she can give you this year is thoughtfulness, not armfuls of stuff. And if she insists on giving something? You’ll be ready! With intentional, meaningful ideas from small local businesses that appreciate every single order.

Happy Thanksgiving! With love for all things reused and reimagined,

Caroline @ Biene